Branded by Sin Read online

  “He…he made me take my clothes off. He held a knife to my throat while he touched me. He spit in my goddamn face, Sean!” Her voice grew louder and she choked on sobs but kept talking. “He said you and Giacomo are vampires and that you kill people for a living. Is that true? I mean, vampires aren’t real, are they?” She put her hands on her head and pulled her own hair. “God, I’m losing my mind!”

  He rubbed her back softly. “No. You’re not losing your mind.”

  Lila brought his hand up to her throat and held it over the slight red mark that remained. “He cut me. Right here. Why is there no cut now? That’s impossible. Did I imagine all of this?”

  Sean toyed with the notion of letting her believe she’d had some kind of psychotic break with reality. He could put her in the car and drive her to Cedars-Sinai and have her admitted to the psych ward.

  Except he couldn’t. Not to her. She’d been through enough already.

  “The thing that attacked you wasn’t human. And neither am I. I’m not in the mafia or the CIA.”

  She stared at him. “You’re creating more questions, Sean.”

  “I’ll try to explain.”

  Lila wiped the tears off her cheeks, grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard. The black nail polish she favored was chipped off the ends of her nails. “I love you, and I think you love me. Please, for once—tell me the truth,” she pleaded.

  He couldn’t stand to see her cry. And yes, he knew that she loved him, without a doubt, and that the feeling was more than mutual.

  He told her everything.

  Chapter Eight

  Lila was curled up in a ball on the couch in the lounge, covered by a plaid throw blanket. Sean touched her cheek. The last twenty-four hours had been crazy. He’d given her a sedative and she’d finally passed out. Satisfied she wouldn’t wake up anytime soon, Sean met Giacomo in the conference room.

  “I apologize for not returning your calls, Sean. Mexico has shitty cell phone reception.”

  “Probably better you weren’t here when all this went down. I heard Søren went to your house before he found Lila.”

  “I wish I’d been home. Then Lila wouldn’t be involved in this. Word has been sent to the Immorata about Søren’s death, with a warning to stay out of our territories. And if they try to infiltrate again, they’ll be looking at a vampire world war.”

  Sean sat down and lit a cigarette. “Good.”

  Giacomo filled him in on what he’d learned. Søren had snuck his way into the BBE by killing a shifter who was being transferred to the Los Angeles faction, and assuming her form. The scheme was ridiculously simple. The real Tasha Castro was probably shark food in the waters off St. Thomas. Nobody had been the wiser because she’d been in transit. Søren had simply slipped into her shoes, literally.

  As for motive, that was discovered after the BBE had torn apart “Tasha’s” office and apartment. Søren was indeed hired by Christy’s sire, who was about to step down from power, and apparently felt the need to right some wrongs before he seceded from his position. They were fairly sure their serial-killer vampire was one of Søren’s, killed in that jail cell to keep him quiet. Since they were both dead now, they’d never know for sure.

  “What the fuck was he? A demon shifter? I didn’t know those were real.” Sean ashed his cigarette in the glass tray.

  “We’re looking in to that. Cass probably would have been able to tell. But, so far, nobody here has seen a real demon shifter. I’m now inclined to say they exist though.” Giacomo lit a cigar and puffed on it a few times. “We need to talk about Lila.” He took two glasses off the credenza and put one in front of Sean. He filled both with Maker’s Mark.

  Sean gulped down half the glass. “What about her?”

  “She knows too much.”

  Sean drew hard on his cigarette. “And? She’s not going to tell anyone. You don’t know her.”

  “I know that humans are fallible, much more so than we are. They fear what they don’t understand.” He sipped his whiskey and licked his lips. “You have a couple of options here.”

  Sean stared at him, waiting for Giacomo to say the words he feared.

  “I know you love her. I’ve been in your shoes, and it’s a tough spot. But your allegiance is to the Empire, Sean. Our survival depends on it. Your survival depends on it.”

  Sean emptied his glass and refilled it himself. His cigarette had burned down to the filter and he crushed it out in the glass ashtray and lit another. Giacomo had some balls, assuming where Sean’s allegiance lay. “Spare me the speech. What are you getting at?”

  “We can’t let her go back out there with what she knows. It’s too dangerous for all of us, including her.”

  “You can’t keep her a prisoner here.”

  Giacomo fingered the beveled edge of the crystal glass. “No.” He shook his head. “We can’t, and we won’t keep anyone prisoner. Normally we would just kill her, but as I said, I know you have feelings for her. So—she either becomes one of us or she dies.”

  Sean shot up out of his chair and leaned across the table, making the bottle spin and shake. He wasn’t surprised at the ultimatum. He’d carried out kills for the same reason. But when it hit so close to home it was different. “No. Fucking. Way.”

  Giacomo maintained his cool composure and put a hand on the bottle of whiskey to keep it from tipping over. “Those are your options. Change her or we’ll execute her. You had to know this was a risk when you got involved.”

  “Fuck you. I saved your life. I could have made a deal and handed you over to Søren but I didn’t. I chose to fight for you and for Lila.” Sean scrubbed his hand over his face. “This is a shitty existence. We both know that. I can’t force this on her. Not like it was forced on me. I won’t.”

  “It is what it is. I’ll give you a day to think about it but she can’t leave here. I can’t let your clouded judgment jeopardize everyone else.”

  “This is what I get in return for saving your ass?”

  “Sean, it’s business. You think it was easy for me to kill Teresa? I loved her, but I had a responsibility to the Empire and so do you.”

  “You can’t compare Lila to Christy. You let Christy fuck up over and over before you finally did something. She was a fucking Immorata. It was in her nature to make more of us. You knew she had the propensity to do what she did. How many vampires did she sire? How many people died because of it? You killed her because you let her get so out of control that you didn’t have a choice! And all this shit that just went down? Yeah, it’s all a result of that too.”

  “Place blame where you like, and you may be right, but I won’t wait to find out if Lila will bend to your will and keep her mouth closed. That’s not a risk I’m willing to take.” Giacomo puffed on his cigar. “Let me know what you want to do by this time tomorrow.”

  Sean didn’t reply, just walked out of the room. He stormed down the hall to where Lila lay sleeping. He shut the door to the lounge and sat next to her. Careful not to wake her, he gently pulled her into his lap and kissed her forehead.

  What the fuck had he done?

  ~ * ~

  True to his word, twenty-four hours later, Giacomo stood in the doorway to the lounge. “What’s it going to be?” His face held no expression, no compassion, nothing.

  It’s just business.

  Sean stood up and ran his fingers through his tangled hair. His head throbbed. Now he needed a shower and a shave. Too much shit had gone down and Lila’s life was about to be irrevocably altered.

  “I’ve done a lot of thinking. A lot of drinking. I can’t let her die. I’ll change her. When she wakes up. I have to explain it to her first.”

  Lila had drifted in and out of her slumber for most of the last day and a half. Trauma and shock played hell on the body and the mind and Sean was grateful she’d slept. It put off what he had to tell her and what he was being forced to do.

  Giacomo nodded. “Understandable. I’ll have Sierra set up a nice, comfortable room fo
r her transition.” Sean had blacked out during his own transition and had no actual memory of it, but he’d watched others change, including Sierra. The first few days were bad. The pain as the venom infected the body, altering the cell structures and depleting the oxygen; the crying, the begging, the hunger, like a baby being denied the breast with no understanding as to why. The only saving grace was that no vampire he knew of ever remembered that part, just like a child doesn’t remember their first few years.

  Sean had been left to his own devices, and had satisfied his hunger in an alley behind a bar to the tune of a couple making out and a homeless dude. Three people died because no one was there to watch him, to guide him, to stop him. Leaving a new vampire alone was like handing a six-year-old the keys to your car and letting them drive.

  He poured another glass of Maker’s Mark and took it into the bathroom with him. He looked like shit. His hair was stringy and in need of a trim. There was probably three days’ worth of patchy beard growth on his face and his eyes had a red shine from hunger. Feeding would have to wait. He rubbed shaving cream on the stubble and drew the razor over his face until he was smooth again. The hot water steamed up the bathroom and he downed the booze before stepping into the shower.

  He told himself he was doing the right thing for Lila as he scrubbed his body and gave up hope on his conscience ever being clean. His mind was still reeling from Tasha being Søren all that time. No wonder that fucker had been a step ahead of them. She or he had sat in on their reconnaissance meetings and even helped strategize. What a clusterfuck.

  Trusting his own instincts was a shaky prospect now. Jesus, he’d almost fucked her. Him. It. He shook his head to clear his mind of that thought. He dressed and stopped in Giacomo’s office.

  “I’m going to run out for a bit. I need to pick up some of Lila’s things from her place.”

  “Is she still resting?”

  “Yeah. She’ll probably sleep through until I get back.”

  “Okay. I’ll check in on her while you’re gone.”

  Sean drove to Lila’s house with Black Label Society blaring through the speakers. The louder the music, the less he had to think about what he was about to do. He found a fancy-looking shopping bag in her closet since her duffel was already at the BBE. He stuffed some of her clothes inside, along with her toiletries. The top drawer of her nightstand contained the book she’d been reading and the gun he’d given her. Both were tossed into the bag.

  On his way out, he was halted in his tracks by the picture on the left side of the fireplace mantel. Lila was smiling, sitting with her sister on an overstuffed couch. Her parents stood behind them, their hands on the girls’ shoulders.

  He trailed his finger over the glass before tucking the frame into her bag.

  He took a final look around and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

  Next he stopped at his apartment. Since he’d have to live at the BBE for a while with Lila, he gathered some stuff that was important to him. His entire wardrobe fit into a trash bag, along with a few personal items he’d kept over the years, like a signed concert ticket and a Polaroid of his mom. He sat down on his bed and looked at her. She must have given up on finding him long ago. It had been over twenty years since he’d disappeared. His sister got married and had two kids and his brother had finally come out of the closet and had been living with a guy for a lot of years.

  He kept loose tabs on them but couldn’t risk getting them involved in the life he lived now. As far as they knew, he became another casualty of the rock-and-roll drug scene in Hollywood, the fast life consuming him—and both were true in a sense. It bothered him a lot at first but he’d had to get over it.

  Now Lila would be in the same unenviable position, and he loathed himself for putting her there.

  Chapter Nine

  The room Giacomo had set up for Lila was situated on the second floor and rivaled any four-star hotel room. Lila had showered and now sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed her eyes.

  Sean sat beside her and the bed creaked under his weight. “I need to talk to you about something.” He took her hand and scratched at her chipped fingernail polish. A lump formed in his throat and he swallowed to dislodge it.

  She leaned against him. “What is it?”

  He sighed. There was no easy way to start this conversation. “Giacomo wants me to change you.”

  “Change me?” She looked up at him. Her dark-blue eyes were slightly bloodshot. “What do you mean?”

  He kissed the back of her hand. She was so warm and her cheeks were still pink from the hot water in the shower. Once this was done, that warmth would be gone, along with the blush. “To make you like me.” He fought back the tears blurring his vision. He’d fought to save her life, only to be faced with taking it himself.

  Her eyes widened and she pulled away. “He wants…he wants me to become a vampire? Why?” She shook her head, her dark hair falling into her face.

  Sean touched her cheek and ran his thumb over her lip. “It was more of an order than a request. Fuck, Lila. This is all my fault.” As hard as he fought it, a tear escaped and slid down his cheek.

  She wiped it away with her fingertip. “There has to be another way.”

  “If I don’t do this, he’ll kill you. Both of us. Maybe that would be better.”

  She got up off the bed. Her bare feet didn’t make a sound on the thick carpet as she padded around the room. “This is like a bad dream. What about my family? What will I tell them?”

  He’d fully expected her to scoff, and that last statement caught him off guard. In the back of his mind, he had imagined her saying no and both of them being killed in some twisted fairy tale ending. She was actually considering doing this willingly.

  She ran her hand through her hair. “This is why you don’t eat. Why you sleep so much. Why we can’t go to the beach. I don’t know if I can live like that.” She was reasoning to herself out loud.

  Sean stayed quiet and watched her.

  She tightened the belt on the fluffy white robe and stopped in front of the mirror on the wall. “Will my reflection disappear? Will I look different?” She spun around. “I’ll never get old and I’ll never die, right?”

  Fuck. He didn’t want to glamorize this at all but that was true. “No. You’ll be stuck. Forever twenty-two.” She was a year younger than he’d been when he was changed.

  She crossed the room and cupped his face in her hands. “And we’ll be together, right? You won’t leave me with someone else?”

  If she was willing to allow this desecration, he had to man up and at least promise her that. “I won’t leave you.”

  “I don’t really have a choice, do I?” She kissed him. “Unless I want to die.”

  What she really didn’t understand was that either way, she would die.

  ~ * ~

  They lay together on the bed, her head on his chest. She cried and asked a million questions. Lila was nothing if not analytical. If she’d had a computer in front of her, she would have made a spreadsheet and Googled all sort of things. As it was, she only had Sean and he was as honest as possible about everything.

  Finally, she looked up at him. “I’m ready. We’ll be our own tragedy.”

  Sean wasn’t ready, and he never would be, but it had to be done. He pulled on the knot at the waist of her robe. He opened it and kissed her belly. So warm, soft, alive. He thumbed her nipple and brought his mouth to hers.

  Tears slipped from her eyes and she touched his hair, running her fingers through it. “It’ll be okay?” It came out as a question more than a statement.

  He nodded, fighting back his own emotions. He had to get his head in the game because he needed to be aroused to do this.

  Lila trailed her fingernails over his chest. “Will it hurt?”

  “No.” That was a lie but she wouldn’t remember that part. He kissed her again and played with her tits. Blood left his brain and pooled in his lower body. His cock was hard now and he pressed himself against her
hip.

  She shrugged out of the robe and parted her thighs. She took his hand and guided it there.

  He stroked her softly. “Are you sure?” He’d explained how it worked. He would fuck her and when his fangs dropped, he’d bite her and drink her blood until the venom released. When that happened, she’d get numb as it mixed with her blood. He put that out of his mind for the moment. This time, the actual fucking would be the foreplay to the big finale.

  “Do it.” Her fingers slid down his torso and gripped his cock. She stroked him slowly, rubbing her thumb over the tip. She knew exactly how he liked it.

  He cupped her mound and pressed the heel of his palm against her clit. “I want you to come first.” His fingers found her entrance, hot and wet, and he thought about baseball for a minute to keep himself from coming in her hand.

  Her dark hair fanned out above her head and accentuated the deep blue of her eyes. Long lashes fanned her cheeks when she let her lids close. She was gorgeous, like a perfectly sculpted porcelain doll. Her pouty lips parted and she moaned. God, that sound drove him nuts.

  She lifted her hips and pressed against his hand, grinding her clit on his palm.

  He backed down her body, kissing her smooth belly. Holding her open with one hand, he sucked her clit into his mouth and rubbed the tip of his tongue over the hard, smooth surface.

  She tangled her fingers in his hair, caressing his scalp. Her legs trembled and her heartbeat accelerated.

  The taste of her heated his body more and his erection throbbed. He slipped his middle finger deep inside her and started a steady rhythm.

  She squirmed and pulled his hair. Her pussy tightened around his finger and he knew she was close already. “Oh, Sean.”

  He increased the pace of his finger sliding in and out and sucked her clit harder.

  She bucked her hips and squeezed her thighs around his head. A hissing sound escaped her as she shook. “God. Oh my God.”